Just a little bit of hope

2014.. what a year. So much happiness and so much sadness. Tears and laughter. It's really hard for me to even find words to describe the past year. It's been rough, like, seriously. I don't believe that I've ever cried as much as I did last year, and for so many different reasons.

New years eve 2014 was seriously the worst one, I tried to have fun but at the end I just walked home crying all alone from the nightclub. I was so freakin' lonely that night. I hated it, I still do. And I don't ever wanna experience that again, never. In some stupid way I believe that night kind of showed me what the year was gonna be like, it's sad but true. I've been through so much emotionally. I don't wanna be hurt anymore.

But 2014 gave me many lovely memories too, things I never wanna forget. Love, friendship, travelling, just pure happiness. Tears of pure joy.

I don't wanna expect anything from 2015, I'm too scared of what's to come, and I really don't wanna get disappointed or as sad as I was last year. I want to be happy, loved, important and missed. I just wanna focus on the good things and have a positive attitude. I wanna get to know new people and meet new friends. I wanna start caring about me, put myself first. It's about time now.

I don't believe in fresh starts, but in the little changes, that could make my life so much happier.

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